


How to become Kazekage in three simple steps

by Raja_Myna



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 09:23:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11354541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raja_Myna/pseuds/Raja_Myna
Summary: As my cousin said upon reading: Gaara sees snazzy hat. Gaara wants snazzy hat. Gaara takes snazzy hat. Anyone who wants to complain can talk to the paperwork. Or Shukaku. Shukaku works.





	How to become Kazekage in three simple steps

**Author's Note:**

> For my birthday this year, I have decided to do like a hobbit and give. Beware, this is unedited and when I wake up a bit more, I'm probably going to hit myself for publishing this before reading through it again. This was inspired by a tumblr post I can't find right now, but when (if) I do, I'll add a link in the notes.
> 
> Enjoy.
> 
> Edit, 1/7: I did hit myself. It's cleaned up a bit now, and I think all tenses are corrected.

One morning, a few weeks after they'd returned home from aiding in that doomed retrieval mission Konoha had thrown for the little Uchiha boy, Kankuro stumbled down to breakfast to find Gaara fiddling with the Kazekage's hat. He blinked twice and almost missed Gaara's mumbled question.

“Sorry, could you repeat that?”

Some months ago, Kankuro would have phrased it very differently. But he was trying now, doing his best to treat Gaara like any other person. Gaara looked up from the hat and caught his eyes.

“What does the Kazekage even do?” said Gaara, barely any louder, but Kankuro was closer to him now, sitting down opposite him.

“Well,” said Kankuro, racking his mind for examples, “he protects Suna and her people. Or at least he should,” added he with a generous amount of venom, recalling some less-than-stellar decisions their father had made. “He deals with the missions we get, assigning ranks and such. A lot of diplomacy. You know, keeping the clans content, making sure we have support and so on. Dealing with alliances with other villages and the daimyo and the nobles and, well, everyone.”

“Father was not very good at that,” remarked Gaara absently. He had returned to toying with the hat.

Kankuro thought, trying to find a way to explain what little he knew of their father's mindset. “Suna's… not very strong. Of the five great villages, we're the weakest. And everyone knows it. The daimyo cut his financial support of us and, well. You know how that turned out. Father had his own idea of how to fix it. It didn't work out, but that happens sometimes. Then he bit off more than he could chew. I don't know how much diplomacy played into that.”

Gaara didn't say anything. Kankuro started in on his breakfast before continuing.

“Anyway, the Kazekage also deals with the reports from all the missions, reading them and such. And making sure all pay is distributed, that the village is doing well economically – which we aren't right now, by the way. All the different aspects of running the village, from the everyday stuff to, well, everything else,” he faltered for a moment, trying to remember what else might be nice for Gaara to know, and failing to come up with something. “Temari or Baki-sensei might know more.”

“Would you want to be Kazekage?”

Kankuro snorted before he could stop himself. “No. I'm not strong enough. And the paperwork alone would kill me, not to mention anyone else who might be after the hat, and I'm not interested in dying before hitting twenty. Would _you_ want to be Kazekage?”

“Hmm,” said Gaara.

Kankuro slowly looked up from his breakfast. Gaara was still shifting the hat in his hands, looking at it with the intensity of someone performing brain surgery for the first time. A small suspicion rooted itself in Kankuro's mind, and despite the utter ridiculousness of it, the thought stayed.

“You know,” said Kankuro, “if you ever need help with something, you just have to ask. I'll help you.” _Like I didn't before_.

“That will be unnecessary. I can handle this on my own.” Gaara met his gaze and Kankuro didn't even have to suppress a flinch. Gaara's eyes were _warm_. “But thank you for offering.”

“Any time,” said Kankuro. After a moment of hesitation he reached over and ruffled Gaara's hair. The incredulous look Gaara gave him made him smile.

_-_-_-_

“Temari.”

The sudden interruption made the girl in question almost stumble over the kata she was practicing. She gathered herself, lowered her fan and looked at her youngest brother.

“Yes, Gaara?”

“This morning I asked Kankuro about the Kazekage's duties. He told me some things.” Gaara paused and gave her an even more piercing stare than usual. “You're good at diplomacy. Do you want to be Kazekage?”

“I…” Temari blinked and tilted her head in consideration. “I don't think I've ever thought about it. I _could_ do it, but I don't know if I would like it.” She eyed the Kazekage's hat, balanced perilously on top of Gaara's gourd. “This isn't an attempt to trick me into office, is it?”

Gaara blinked at her once, slowly. “No.”

“Oh, good.”

They stood in silence for a few moments.

“Well,” said Temari, trying to find a way to connect with her youngest brother, “the Kazekage is good at diplomacy. What else did Kankuro say?

Gaara looked out at the dunes, shimmering in the morning sun. “He makes sure the village functions. He takes care of Suna. He takes care of the people.”

“That's a good summary,” said Temari. “But that is not all. The Kazekage is a symbol, _the_ symbol of Suna's strength. Our sword and shield in one. It's not just about physical force or amount of chakra, though that's part of it. It's… hard to explain. The Kazekage is our leader, so he has to be able to handle all that comes with being one.”

She gave her brother a mischievous smile. “And of course, the paperwork.”

“Kankuro mentioned that. Mission requests and reports.”

Her laugh made Gaara look back at her.

“It's not just from missions. Didn't Kankuro mention dealing with trade reports, import and export rates, checking on water and food stockpiles, dealing with the laws, renewing the old and making new ones for new situations, and everything like that?”

“…Peripherally.”

“Being Kazekage's a lot of work. It's a lot of late hours, sometimes even having to pull all-nighters… sorry.”

But Gaara didn't seem bothered. “It might be better for the Kazekage to have a sleep schedule like mine.”

She chanced a joke, smiling to show that she didn't mean any harm. “As in: 'don't'?”

For one long moment she thought she'd messed up, but then Gaara smiled back at her. It was a small, fragile thing, but it was there. Temari decided that she would put that look on his face as often as she could from now on.

“Exactly like that,” said Gaara. At some point he had pulled the hat down from his gourd to toy with it. Temari had seen Gaara contemplative before, but never quite like this. If he was planning what she thought he was, he had her support.

_-_-_-_

It was midday, and Baki had just managed to sneak off for lunch when a young chūnin came running up to him. He tried walking faster and ignoring her, but she started shouting his name as soon as she was in earshot, so he stopped to wait for her, irritation well hidden.

“Baki-san,” said she as soon as she caught up with him. “You have to get to the Kazekage's office! The entire council is there, they want you as soon as possible!”

Baki had the feeling that he knew what this was about. “I won't be Kazekage. I've already declined. Three times.”

Her face twisted. Baki had no idea how to interpret the many different emotions that played out across her features, but he was pretty sure that fear and confusion were the dominating ones.

“It's not that. But they need you, Baki-san. Now.”

Resigning himself to the fact that his lunch would probably once again be delayed, if not skipped entirely, Baki shunshin-ed to the building that housed the Kazekage's office. The entire council was assembled in the entry hall.

“Baki!” cried one of the councilmen when he caught sight of the jōnin. “You have to tell him he can't do this!”

Before Baki could even ask whom he was talking about, he was shuffled into the office by one of the chūnin secretaries. There was a shape situated behind the massive stacks of paperwork that had piled up on the desk, the Kazekage's hat firmly on the head of whoever it was.

“Yes?” asked the person. Baki's brain shorted out. He knew that voice.

“Gaara?”

“Baki-sensei,” greeted Gaara. He didn't look up from the papers he was focusing on as he continued, “I am Kazekage now.” Gaara's voice was as deadpan as it had ever been, but there was an unmistakable note of pride in it regardless.

“I- I can see that.” Baki could indeed see it. He breathed in and started working on believing.

“Was there anything you wanted?”

Oh, yeah, there was, wasn't there. “The council-”

“I have already informed them of my new position. If there was nothing else, I have paperwork to complete. Can you see yourself out?”

“I- yes, Gaara. I mean, Kazekage-sama.” Baki paused before opening the door. “Have you told your siblings?”

Gaara finally looked up from the stack of papers. “I will let them know over dinner.”

Baki nodded. “Congratulations on your promotion.”

Without waiting for a response, Baki left the office. He wasn't sure if Gaara would thank him for the congratulations. He wasn't even sure if he wanted Gaara to thank him. Instead, he leaned against a wall to gather his thoughts. Two minutes later he hurried down the hall to where the council still stood gathered.

“Well?” said a particularly old councilwoman. Baki took a deep breath to prepare himself.

“Gaara's the Kazekage now.”

That was clearly not what they had hoped to hear.

“Impossible!” erupted one council member.

“We can't have an unstable Jinchūriki as Kazekage!” cried another.

“He's twelve! Suna's doomed with him at the helm!”

Their outrage lasted for minutes. Baki weathered their complaints stoically.

“Okay,” said he when they finally fell silent. “Who wants to be the one to tell him he can't keep the hat?”

The entire council quickly made their excuses. Baki had to admit that the dust cloud they left behind was pretty impressive.

Really, Gaara would probably tire of playing Kazekage within a week. A month on the outside. Then they could get back to business.

_-_-_-_

A year later, Suna was doing better than it had in over a decade, and their situation was improving every day. Everyone was sure that the joke was on someone, but no one had any clue whom it might be.


End file.
